2.06.2009

Scared

Last night before bed I drank three glasses of water. NOT SMART. So needless to say I got up a few times in the night. Then Lauren woke up at four and almost ran out of her room like "hey it's morning I want to play." I put her back in her bed and went back to my bed. At five I heard her knocking on her door, so I thought the only way she is going back to sleep is if I give her a bottle, So I went in with her bottle and she saw it and bless her little heart, ran to the chair. (I think she might be going through a growth spurt.) Anyway at 5:15 I went back to bed. Jeff gets up a 6:00 and so I move to the couch so the shower doesn't wake me up. At 6:25 he says "I know you hate it, but could make my lunch, I'm late." My response was a resounding "NO, buy a lunch" and I went back to sleep.

Why am I scared you might ask. When I was feeding Lauren a bottle I had visions of feeding her, then as I laid back down, having to feed the new baby. I felt scared and exhausted. What made me think that I could handle two kids? I'll answer my own question. When you think about having more kids you don't think nine months ahead, you think in the moment. Eight months ago Lauren wasn't walking yet, she was sleeping through the night about 13-14 hours and taking a two hour nap. She wasn't running away when I got her out of the car, or throwing tantrums when I put her in a shopping cart, or when leaving the park. She wasn't throwing her food on the ground when she was done, or coloring on the walls. We thought, we can handle another baby, we got this down. I have decided that you never have it down for long. Lauren was really much more manageable when she wasn't this age.

And so this is the life our new baby will be born into. And I feel worried that I am going to lose my mind, and be highly sleep deprived. Any tips?

5 comments:

Hartleys said...

No tips, here. Just lots of me coming to take Lauren for playdates so you and new baby can rest. :)

We'll figure out the handling two together.

Alissa said...

ha ha that's funny! I guess when you in it you can't see what's it really going to be like...GOOD LUCK!! Are you still sure you want baby number 2 to come in a week compared to next month?

Stacey said...

I cried for a long time when I found I was having Lorelei because Jacob was in the stage that Lauren is in and I knew I would lose my mind. But it's not so bad not having a mind, you won't miss it at all, I promise. You'll manage, because you have to, two little people depend on you (three if you count Jeff, not that he's little, sorry that came out wrong.). You'll get up everyday (and night) to help them and take care of them, the only thing you need to decide is whether you'll do it smiling or snarling. Meanwhile, remember this stage (having precious little babies) only lasts for a little bit, so enjoy it. You'll get it figured out and then will come baby number 3. Love Ya!

Matt and Maggie said...

Don't do this to yourself. You don't deserve the stress. You're an amazing woman with a lot of love, and patience comes with practice and prayer. You'll be great!!

J and M said...

Loveliest Stephanie........You are starting to sound like me (who contemplates it all a thousand times in advance and as such has delays between babies).

1. Get moms and mothers in laws to help for at least a week each in the beginning.

2. Make your spouse covenant with you that for the first two months at least he is home for bedtime if you need it, and he takes Lauren while you take baby (or switch around).

3. Naps if you can (that is the one bonus of having babies closer together......they can probably nap at the same time, and you will too!)

4. Move to Texas.

5. No going to the store with both of them until a few months have passed.

6. The baby will sleep LOTS in the beginning which is a blessing!!!!

7. I recall strategizing when Miles was asleep (get stuff ready for Elle) so that when they are both awake, I do'nt have to do lots of prep. You will probably not have a colicky baby, though (:

8. This is also why I had two kids in cribs/bassinetts etc. You do whatever increases your sanity!!!

9. Call Texas (: You CAN do it! If I the stress case can do it, you the take things in stride lady can do it!!!!!

m