So I think the person who needs the most adjusting to life after having baby number three is me. Perhaps I should have know this or at least entertained the idea, but I didn't. There has only been one really bad day when the girls didn't nap and we were trying to get ready to go to Lincoln and Jeff was having a guys night and I would be putting the girls and Callum to bed on my own. My emotional energy was drained and then Callum didn't sleep good that night and Lauren woke up twice. (one of those times screaming and screaming for ice in her cup). Needless to say I was a wreak.
I feel like the most important thing that I can do is to have energy. How does someone get more energy. The times I yell is when I am tired. I don't want Lauren to tell me "hey, you're being mean to me" anymore. I don't want to be a mean mommy.
The other thing that has been hard to adjust to is the lack of time. I feel like someone is needing something all the time. I am constantly saying "hold on a minute," and my whole day is eating up helping the kiddos. I'm sure that is is supposed to be that way and I am sure that I will get used to it, and I'm sure it will get better (right?????)
But for now I am adjusting. Trying to be more energetic and giving than ever before.
Changes :)
11 years ago
6 comments:
Oh, Sister, have I been there. You're exhausted, overwhelmed, exhausted, emotional, exhausted, and everyone needs something from you, did I mention exhausted? It does get better. Try and remember that you need some time alone to rest your brain and to not have any one need anything from you. Look for some activity that will get the girls to play quietly on their own for awhile so that you can take a few deep breaths. (Playdoh works great for my kids.) Did I mention it gets better? Because it really does. Energy is not sold in stores, I've looked.
Cheer up and call me sometime if you feel the need to yell, I won't call you a mean mommy.
Oh my sweet friend...it does get so much better...give yourself time to adjust...you don't have to do everything...let some things go. The housework will still be there tomorrow. I know it's hard now and as they get older you will still have challenges but I think they are more mental than physical as the kiddos grow up. Hang in there...the first while after a baby is born is hard, it too shall pass.
Can I copy and paste this post on my blog? I feel the exact same way. Blah.
I read this and thought Shannon had written it for you. You two want a girls' night? It won't fix the problem, but at least give you a break.
I don't know if this helps or not, but when William was a few months old, Everett went to preschool. One day he told me that his teacher yelled at the class (she is very sweet so it was a notable occurrence). Then I asked him if I ever yelled at him, and he scrunched up his face, shrugged, and said No. I couldn't believe it! I was in the throes of post-partum hormones and exhaustion and I did yell at him several times a day.
So I learned that sometimes if I am just doing the best I can to keep everyone alive, that is enough, and the kids don't remember the yelling as much as I think they do.
I hope you find some good alone time. You are a fantastic mother and don't worry--you are not really being as mean as you think you are!!!
After Miles was born, I made Jon swear that he would NOT be gone at bedtime (unless it was a very high paying gig or something he HAD to go to) until the baby was 3 months old. I have nearly gone insane on some of those days.
How old is he now? Do you still have any options for help? For me those first 3 months are the hardest, and I am always the one who struggles the most. I am sorry for your weariness!
It does start to get better (ugh, at 4-5 months). As for energy, I am not sure how to answer that. Beatrice seems to have gotten the same memo that Lauren got-wake up lots!
good energies to you. You can do it!!
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