Lauren is four

Dear Lauren,

I can't believe that you are a four year old now. Suddenly you seem so much older and more capable of doing things for yourself (which I always wanted but now feel a little sad about). And I have seen your determination to do things by yourself because you are a four year old now, and I have to remind you that even four year olds need help with some things.

I think that you and me are a lot alike. We are both afraid to be wrong. At your four year check-up they did an eye exam. You got the first ones right and then as they moved down the chart and had you cover you other eye with your hand you melted onto the floor because you couldn't see it and had tears in your eyes. The nurse was waiting for you to tell her what the shape was and you very slightly would move your hand so that you could use both eyes. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen, to see you crumble because you were embarrassed. (I cheat a eye exams too. They make you wait for so long I memorize the chart. Eye exams are so humiliating. I think they should be done away with). So we left the office with the name of an ophthalmologist.

You are a little unstable when you meet new people and are at new places. (Also a lot like me). I remember being a kid and not being able to eat a restaurants. I would just get so nervous and my stomach would just be in knots. You are scared of public bathrooms. Maybe because they are all different and there is no consistency. And I agree, some of those toilets are really loud.

Like your dad you are a loyal friend. You ask about your friends and think about them and always want them to come over a play. You have so much love to give people. You loving being with your family too. You ask when we can go on family vacations. Stating that your favorite places to go together are Kansas City, North Platte and the big house we went last summer. Also like your dad you have an amazing memory. Most especially things that have happened. Like going to the lake last summer and remembering that we brought our slide, and throwing up at the zoo in our double stroller and when you went to the park with your cousin Maddie that daddy carried both of you. Silly things like that. Or the time you were supposed to give the opening prayer in primary and you were excited about it all week and then they forgot to have the opening prayer and you didn't remember until the closing prayer and I could hear you crying in the primary room while I was playing the organ. You are so easily heartbroken when things don't go as planned. (A little like me).

You love summer. And you do not get that from me. We check the pool at our apartment everyday to see if it has water in it yet so you can go swimming. You love the park and most especially when our friends are there too. You could be outside playing, chalking, laying all day long. You always seem a little happier in the summer.

Such a sweet girl. I hope the upcoming birthdays never change that about you.

Happy Fourth Birthday
Love Mom

(Here are my favorite pictures of your birthday)